When Will Life Get Easier?

by Blaze Lazarony on March 11, 2012

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When Will Life Get Easier?Here’s the honest and seemingly morbid truth to the question: When Will Life Get Easier?:

Life will get easier when you’re dead.

I heard that…that sound you just let out.

I know that guttural sound very well; my clients make the same noise when I share this concept with them.

I made a similar sound when I first heard  “Life will get easier when you’re dead” from my Dad. I was about twelve years old then and I didn’t know what he was attempting to teach me.

The Human Experience

What I’ve come to understand on a deeper level in my adult years, is that all of life is made of just two states of being: Love and Fear.

Love is when everything flows and we’re in the present moment, it feels good and is full of light; some might even describe this feeling state as comfortable. I also like to call this way of being in the world as living into our Brilliance;  a feeling of alignment with all that is good, right, and just in the world.

In contrast, Fear is an unpleasant feeling of apprehension or anxiety, related to an event in the past, present, or even future. It feels disjointed, potentially heavy, dark, and makes you want to fight or flee. People often describe this feeling state as challenging or stressful. And as humans we try to avoid fear at all costs!

Telling the Truth

Somewhere along the way, most likely when we were infants, we formed a belief that life should be easy. Those were the days when all of our needs were taken care of for us: we were fed, diapered, and rocked until we drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Even those people who grew-up in less than ideal households, still tended to have these basic human needs met.

Then as we grew into children, teenagers, young adults, and even adults, many of us still carried around the belief that life should continue to be easy. And we growl and moan at the challenging events that life heaps upon us, believing that it should be otherwise.

Let me be crystal clear here, I am not suggesting that anyone subject himself or herself to a life filled with violence, cruelty, or abuse. At the same time, I don’t encourage anyone to live a lifestyle of martyrdom.

I believe that love and fear, or comfort and challenge, are the yin and yang of life. Both states must co-exist in an interconnected and interdependent way, one giving rise to the other. For with too much comfort there is boredom and suggests the lack of a powerful life force; and with too much challenge there is pain and melancholy, as well as a feeling of utter helplessness.

Love & Fear are the Yin & Yang of Life

 

I also believe that a challenge can empower us to create the change we seek, and then ultimately give us a level of comfort. Then when the comfort becomes too stifling, a challenge can be welcomed in, thus encourage a new shift in the status quo.

Check in with yourself now, where are you in the comfort and challenge cycle? Where in your body are you holding fear or challenge? Scan your whole body looking for tight spots or areas of pain.

It’s Easier Dead Than Said

Now it’s time to release the old belief that life should be easy. It’s time to allow this belief to die and stop encouraging it to exist in your thought process; you don’t have to die yourself, just allow the belief to expire instead.

“For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.” –Khalil Gibran

I’m a strong believer in energy medicine and the power of the body to heal. An expert that I’ve followed for years that teaches this healing modality is Carol Tuttle, she offered a  fabulous blog post recently where she shared how to clear emotional baggage, I’ve altered her technique slightly for our discussion of comfort and challenge or love and fear.

How to release the belief that life should be easy and become more open to living a full life:

1. Form you hand into a fist. Rub your fist in a clockwise circular motion on the middle of your chest. (Right over your breast bone.)

2. Repeat the following phrase 5 or 6 times as you rub your chest: “It is safe to let go of this belief and it is time to let go of these feelings.”

3. As you try this technique, notice how you feel. Does your heart feel more open? Do you notice any other body sensations? What is different from your prior check-in?

4. And this is very important and my personal addition to this technique, I encourage you to stop saying, “Life should be easy.” And affirm to yourself instead that “Life simply is.”

 

Believe it, because life simply is; no judgment and nothing to change.

For without life, there is death.

Choose life.

 

For more tips on how to release challenges and for additional stress management tips visit these amazing websites:

9 Minutes to Sanity
Stress Reduction in 4 Ways for Busy Business Owners
Outsourcing for Small Business
Practice Safe Stress

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Blaze Lazarony is an Entrepreneurial Business Strategist, Founder of Blaze A Brilliant Path and the Entrepreneur’s Networking Collective, Best Selling Author & Speaker. For 20 years, Blaze held high-level positions in a Fortune 500 company. Today her passion is helping high achieving women create custom fit businesses and soul-based lives that light them up!

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Margo DeGange March 21, 2012 at 6:25 pm

This is a wonderful post Blaze. I think we just need to be real with people, and you are.

I like to think of it this way: My natural state is peace, and things often come along to remove me from that natural state, but say “no” to inner turmoil, and I purpose to keep my inner being at peace EVEN in the midst of challenges.

There will always be challenges. Life brings those for us, and they are great teachers. That is why they come. So we definitely do not want to add unnecessary challenges or drama that is not really needed, since life gives us plenty to work with already!

The key is not arguing with reality, and accepting everything at face value, and then doing what we can to work through challenges with a good spirit and a joyful heart. You can be in the middle of a storm with a right attitude.

Thanks so much for this important post!

Hugs,
Margo

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Blaze March 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Margo,

“Our natural state is peace,” what a statement on reality, and yes….keeping ourselves in a place of peace, even in chaos is a spiritual practice.

Blaze
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Ciara March 21, 2012 at 4:10 am

Hi Blaze I don’t believe life has to be difficult we have to get a point of non judgement, not labeling things good or bad. Learn how to accept and just be with life. A couple of breaths and I feel better. Thanks
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Blaze March 21, 2012 at 6:58 pm

Ahhh yes, a couple of breaths. Doing just that right now Ciara!
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Chantal Beaupre March 18, 2012 at 6:23 am

Great post, Blaze!

Just like you, I truly believe that life was never meant to be easy… but I also believe it was never meant to be difficult either!

Life simply is, no more no less. It constantly provides us with a smorgasboard of contrasts so that we can make new choices and evolve. But whether or not we complicate the process with self-defeating thoughts, emotions, and behaviors is entirely up to us!
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Blaze March 19, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Chantal,

You’re so right, not easy and not difficult…life simply is.

Ahh, isn’t there some joy in knowing that?

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Christine O'Dell March 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

I agree, life simply is. Everything that happens, happens for a reason and is perfect. We are here on a journey and that journey includes everything that happens. Thanks Blaze for remininding us to release our resistance and choose life!
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Lori Lynn Smith March 17, 2012 at 8:34 am

I love that saying! I burst out laughing!

Living in that place of no judgement makes life more manageable for sure. I believe it allows you to handle the ups and downs better. You are less reactionary, you have time to process events, you have space to remain calm.
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Blaze March 17, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Living from a space from no judgement creates more breathing room; I’m with you Lori! I’ve found that meditation allows me the opportunity to practice non-judgmental awareness more and more each day.

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Rosie Taylor March 16, 2012 at 9:46 am

Blaze – Two things hit me when I was reading your post. My dad also told me that “There is only pain in living”. As a child I never understood it. Now I get it. I’m just not always sure what to do with that knowledge. Thanks for keeping me on the cluetrain. The second thing is I just finished a book called The Untethered Soul and learned about the whole idea of Yin and Yang. Hearing it from you confirms that it’s important to just let things happen, experience them but don’t go to one extreme or another. You said so well in the words: “Life simply is.” Wow! That’s a mantra that will help me remain connected to the idea of staying centered. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!
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Blaze March 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Rosie,

Sounds like we both had Fathers that were/are philosophers! It is an ongoing opportunity to drop our attachments to the way “things should be” and instead embrace “it just is.”

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