Here’s the honest and seemingly morbid truth to the question, When Will Life Get Easier?:
Life will get easier when you’re dead.
I heard that…that sound you just let out.
I know that guttural sound very well; my clients make the same noise when I share this concept with them. I made a similar sound when I first heard ”Life will get easier when you’re dead” from my Dad. I was about twelve years old then and I didn’t know what he was attempting to teach me.
The Human Experience
What I’ve come to understand on a deeper level in my adult years, is that all of life is made of just two states of being: Love and Fear.
Love is when everything flows and we’re in the present moment, it feels good and is full of light; some might even describe this feeling state as comfortable. I also like to call this way of being in the world as living into our Brilliance; a feeling of alignment with all that is good, right, and just in the world.
In contrast, Fear is an unpleasant feeling of apprehension or anxiety, related to an event in the past, present, or even future. It feels disjointed, potentially heavy, dark, and makes you want to fight or flee. People often describe this feeling state as challenging or stressful. And as humans we try to avoid fear at all costs!
Telling the Truth
Somewhere along the way, most likely when we were infants, we formed a belief that life should be easy. Those were the days when all of our needs were taken care of for us: we were fed, diapered, and rocked until we drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Even those people who grew-up in less than ideal households, still tended to have these basic human needs met.
Then as we grew into children, teenagers, young adults, and even adults, many of us still carried around the belief that life should continue to be easy. And we growl and moan at the challenging events that life heaps upon us, believing that it should be otherwise.
Let me be crystal clear here, I am not suggesting that anyone subject himself or herself to a life filled with violence, cruelty, or abuse. At the same time, I don’t encourage anyone to live a lifestyle of martyrdom.
I believe that love and fear, or comfort and challenge, are the yin and yang of life. Both states must co-exist in an interconnected and interdependent way, one giving rise to the other. For with too much comfort there is boredom and suggests the lack of a powerful life force; and with too much challenge there is pain and melancholy, as well as a feeling of utter helplessness. I also believe that a challenge can empower us to create the change we seek, and then ultimately give us a level of comfort. Then when the comfort becomes too stifling, a challenge can be welcomed in, thus encourage a new shift in the status quo.
Check in with yourself now, where are you in the comfort and challenge cycle? Where in your body are you holding fear or challenge? Scan your whole body looking for tight spots or areas of pain.
It’s Easier Dead Than Said
Now it’s time to release the old belief that life should be easy. It’s time to allow this belief to die and stop encouraging it to exist in your thought process; you don’t have to die yourself, just allow the belief to expire instead.
I’m a strong believer in energy medicine and the power of the body to heal. An expert that I’ve followed for years that teaches this healing modality is Carol Tuttle, she offered a fabulous blog post recently where she shared how to clear emotional baggage, I’ve altered her technique slightly for our discussion of comfort and challenge or love and fear.
How to release the belief that life should be easy and become more open to living a full life:
1. Form you hand into a fist. Rub your fist in a clockwise circular motion on the middle of your chest. (Right over your breast bone.)
2. Repeat the following phrase 5 or 6 times as you rub your chest: “It is safe to let go of this belief and it is time to let go of these feelings.”
3. As you try this technique, notice how you feel. Does your heart feel more open? Do you notice any other body sensations? What is different from your prior check-in?
4. And this is very important and my personal addition to this technique, I encourage you to stop saying, “Life should be easy.” And affirm to yourself instead that “Life simply is.”
Believe it, because life simply is; no judgment and nothing to change.
For without life, there is death. Choose life.
For more tips on how to release challenges and for additional stress management tips visit these amazing websites:
Deep Breathing for Stress Relief and Better Health
9 Minutes to Sanity
The Feminine Relaxation Zone
Stress Reduction in 4 Ways for Busy Business Owners
Outsourcing for Small Business
Practice Safe Stress
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